Toddler Food No-No's

Mr.Asparagus Pants

I firmly believe in a whole foods diet for my whole family. Our food supply scares me, the supermarket is packed with non-nutritious,toxic, junk food. My concern isn't unwarranted either, I preach regularly about the state of our country's health. The Standard American Diet (SAD) is causing so many health related issues, in simple terms you really are what you eat. Cancer rates are as high 50% and expected to rise to 75% in the next 20 years and chemical toxins are a leading cause.It isn't always easy, preparing and planning meals, but your children will reap the rewards. This isn't only for toddlers, the diet of the parents is always going to be mirrored in the child's food preferences. My son has a few allergies and sensitivities, and it is always to stuff no one should be eating anyways(corn,wheat,soy etc), so in my house we know we are eating good  as long as he can eat it also! I also want to say that it isn't "stealing" a childhood away with healthy food and not buying processed crap.  My son and I enjoy baking together and enjoying our meals after we prepare them from scratch. In my experience children helping prepare the meals instead of  'Here eat this' always warms them up to try new things. 

We have to take power back in the name of our childrens health from these large corporations that control our food system, and tell them "NO MORE" We can do that by buying local, whole food organic product, showing them what we want through our dollars spent.

Artificial Colors and Preservatives

There are so SO many safe alternatives to artificial colors and preservatives that they belong NO WHERE near anyone's plates. They cause hyperactivity and behavioral problems in children. Not to mention nervous system damage and cancer among various other ailments. I urge you to try to eliminate these from your childs diet and see the amazing change in their behavior and health. Our bodies do not recognize these substances as food, and has no idea what to do with it excrete what it can, and store the rest. 

"Recent studies suggest that a person's body might create even more body fat so that it has more room to store the onslaught of toxins." 

All of these additives are unnecessary and are only in the best interest of shelf life, not human life. There are over 300 additives recommended to eliminate from your childs diet, and it is your duty as a parent to research and make informed decisions about what is in your childs food.

http://life.familyeducation.com/nutrition-and-diet/weight/46763.html#ixzz20STm8enO

"The Feingold Program recommends eliminating from the diet: all artificial (synthetic) colors, listed on the label as ``food coloring'', ``color added'' or by its FDA number, like FD&C Yellow #5 or FD&C Red #40 (both used in the Lancet study); artificial flavors listed as ``flavoring'' or ``artificial flavoring'' or artificial vanilla (vanillin); aspartame (an artificial sweetener); and three preservatives, BHA, BHT, and TBHQ – already removed from most food for children in the U.K." 


And let me tell you, these are in almost all of mainstream conventional food and household/personal products. 


Artificial Sweeteners
For me the most disturbing trend in food additives is the sugar free scam. Aspartme is a byproduct of ecoli and causes brain cancer. It is disgusting and should not be on the market whatsoever. It is in all conventional gum and pretty much anything that is "sugar free" In this article from Dr. Mercola he shines some light on the dangers of this toxic substance.(It is a MUST READ)


"Aspartame accounts for over 75 percent of the adverse reactions to food additives reported to the FDA. Many of these reactions are very serious including seizures and death. A few of the 90 different documented symptoms listed in the report as being caused by aspartame include: Headaches/migraines, dizziness, seizures, nausea, numbness, muscle spasms, weight gain, rashes, depression, fatigue, irritability, tachycardia, insomnia, vision problems, hearing loss, heart palpitations, breathing difficulties, anxiety attacks, slurred speech, loss of taste, tinnitus, vertigo, memory loss, and joint pain."


I have seen this in numerous(more than I can count) childrens food products. Don't even get me started on marketing to children on food packaging either!! It just blatantly shows that these corporations have a bottom line(the dollar)  in interest and NOT your childs health. There are alternatives that are healthy and safe that should be utilized instead of artificial sweeteners.(Honey or Stevia anyone?) Also I would like to take a moment to advocate for natures candy AKA fruit.(Woop woop!) If you start early and feed your child a natural whole food diet then they will enjoy a strawberry instead of an artificially flavored,colored,sweetened processed "treat". I remember as a child liking strawberry flavor and not strawberries, and thought blackberries tasted like spray paint which just so happen to be my favorite berry. It took me until I was 20 to try it again, so starting young is key with food preferences.


Pesticides,chemical fertilizers and Irradiation

 Pesticides are important to eliminate from your baby/toddlers(and your) diet because of their sensitive developing bodies. As we know, you are what you eat and  the cells in your body are the foundation of health. Pesticides are chemical toxins cause them to malfunction and sometimes damage or kill them. Causing your detoxification system, mainly your liver, kidneys, lungs, colon, and skin, to work overtime and eventually malfunction as well. In children this also affects their nervous, endocrine among other various systems that are still developing. Organics also have more nutritional content and are not genetically modified. They also no not irradiate the soil, which is using radiation to kill pathogens in the soil which obviously is dangerous(and stupid)(and doesn't actually work) The top ten dirty dozen list is helpful when transitioning into buying organics! 

Why it matters

Toxins are accumulative and we are introduced to enough through our industrialized environmental (i.e. oil refineries and vehicle exhaust) so we need not introduce any more chemicals into our babies little bodies. Starting now, wherever you are in your journey as a parent, makes a direct impact on your childs future and wellbeing. Also, it is always fun to garden with your children, is educational and nutritious for everyone and is a great way to introduce picky eaters to the food on their plate! 

The statistics on our country's health is proof that we need real change. And the first step is what we put into our bodies. Diabetes, heart disease, cancer, ADHD, asthma, autism are all usually diet related and are skyrocketing in the youth. Also the large amounts of antibiotics we use and the high prevalence of sugar in our diets is causing Candida overgrowth in an estimated 70% of Americans. Candida is a yeast overgrowth which feeds off of sugar and starch. Antibiotics kill the good bacteria with the bad and this is the result. Find out more here . We have to stop trusting corporations with the well-being of our children and educate ourselves on what is really going on.

Childhood should be about family, love and fun and is not hindered by removing chemical toxins from their diet. My toddler is a happy healthy boy, who whines for a banana at the grocery store instead of a candy bar. "Fun" foods aka cakes and candy do not have to constitute toxic cancer causing processed foods. I make my treats for my son with whole food ingredients that are good for him,and we enjoy them just the same and get special bonding time preparing them while we are at it! I think childhood is hindered by the many ailments that affect the nations youth everyday, and we need to revamp what childhood is about. The "Golden Arches" and food coloring shouldn't be staples of toddlerdom and should be replaced with sunshine and gardening.

Written by Haley

Children are not pets: Their right to rights

https://www.facebook.com/BayAreaIntactivists

As we wrapped up a wonderful juice bar lunch with the kids (no tears & didn't even need to break out the emergency bananas!) we were approached by a member of the ACLU, (American Civil Liberties Union) clipboard in hand. We began to discuss our disappointment with the organization, and their blocking of  circumcision banning legislation in San Francisco.

(If you don't know why circumcision is cosmetic, unnecessary and a violation of human rights please look into intactivism and get educated about this important topic. Feel free to ask for links and additional information.)

He wasn't prepared or informed on this topic and had some really odd responses. 

These included a "federal hair cutting law" retort (we'll come back to our hair cutting philosophy later) to which we tried to explain the removal of nerve endings and permanence of  circumcision. He responded that "We don't know that much about hair." It gets worse:  a Nazi reference, his approval of circumcising dogs, equating intactivism to a "god hates gays" movement and even saying "Children are like pets..." 

Yes, a person advocating for civil liberties thinks children are pets.

I would like to make it very clear that children are humans and entitled to the same inherent rights. These rights should not be withheld due to arbitrary age and are not anyone's to refuse or allow. Being a parent does not make you an owner of a child, (it would be more accurate the other way!) Your ownership is of your own body and does not extend to the possession of another human being. Your rights end (religious, parental) where another person's body begins.

Our duty as parents is to provide, protect, educate and allow our children to become the best version of themselves. Children's rights mirror these values and include freedom from fear and harm and the freedom of choice over their own body.

It is not a parental right to choose elective and cosmetic procedures for children. It is the child's right to choose, especially when the procedure is permanent and body altering such as circumcision, ear piercing or tattoo. It is in our own parental philosophy to let the children choose when they want their hair cut. I recall a dispute with a lady informing me that sometimes you have to traumatize children as a part of childhood, like a haircut. Disagree. Choice, right to one's body and nurturing win in this home, personally we enjoy watching their hair growing in their natural patterns:  mullet, curls and swirls.

Let's commend the German court that ruled that a child's right to physical integrity trumps freedom of religion and parent's rights and for the ban on circumcision that came from this ruling. 

We wouldn't subject our children to personal, medical, religious or other procedures they did not choose or did not want. Of course there are loopholes and scenarios we could go batty over, but even in a medically necessary (emergency procedure most likely) I would validate my child's emotions and physically be supportive with them through it. 

We also conclude that a child's right to be free of fear and harm win over the (improper) parental right to hit a child. (Since nowhere in society hitting another person is a right, and even a threat is considered criminal) 

We need to rethink our roles as parents. There is nothing that bugs me more than a "Because I'm the  Mom!" approach to parenting. Children are people, they have real feelings, real thoughts and inherent rights. We need to humanize our babies and never forget that they are not a possession but a person who we are given the honor of loving, protecting and teaching. We must respect their rights and teach them to respect others. If we nurtured every child this way the world would be such a better place. 

Born This Way

If there is one promise we make the first time we hold our newborn babies, it is to love and protect them.We don't know their temperment, or futures, we can't even predict their eye or hair color. None of that matters, we just dedicate ourselves blindly to who they are and who they will become.We recently marched in the SF Pride Parade with our children representing The Bay Area Intactivists. Our boys strolled along in their wagon with signs that read 'Born This Way'. This message represents their unchanged bodies and our acceptance of their entire being, unconditionally.


We enjoyed the parade, I love the feeling of celebration and liberation. We are proud supporters of genital integrity and sexual orientation integrity also. Just leave peoples genitals and sexuality alone!


We thought the world was on the right track until we ran across Becky Fischers' latest atrocity. We recognized her from Jesus Camp, a documentary where she directs an Evangelical summer camp and children shake and sob over abortion, and pray over a cardboard cutout of George Bush, kind of heavy for kids ya think? What happened to canoeing and crafts? Heres an overview of the movie:

Becky Fischer is a Pentacostal minister who holds Evangelical Christian conferences and camps, the latter called "Kids on Fire" which are held in Devil's Lake, North Dakota. She holds the camps in the hopes of teaching Evangelical Christian children to lay down their life for God. She equates her philosophy to that of extremist Muslims teaching children literally to fight in the name of Islam, but with 'the right' message. She teaches the children at the camps to be outspoken in their beliefs with a passionate fervor, all in the name of Jesus Christ. Topics presented include the evils of Harry Potter (in Old Testament times, he would have been put to death for being a warlock), the waste of dead churches (where there is no passion in the praising of Jesus), the evils of abortion, and Evangelical Christians taking back government in the United States. The camp attendees soak up the messages like sponges as she is preaching to the converted. Her events are played out against the backdrop of the George W. Bush presidency, he who speaks to Ted Haggard, the leader of the National Association of Evangelicals, on a weekly basis. Christian radio host Mike Papantonio, who is non-Evangelical, provides his views of what he considers Fischer's indoctrination process, and especially the harm he sees in blurring the line between church and state.http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486358/plotsummary

Bigotry at its 'finest'

Love at its finest

Her latest works not only include teaching children to raise the dead, but also how to prevent homosexuality. She sells the classes that teach gender roles and stereotypes and says 'It begins in childhood, it can be prevented'. This is bigotry and a hate crime. First of all, you cannot prevent homosexuality or any sexual prefrences. We are aquainted with twins, now adults, male and female who are both gay. They were not raised in an open gender-bending environment but a traditional gender role American family. If you asked the twins they would tell you they were born that way. Im not suggesting we are inherently gay or straight, but that we are inherently ourselves. It is nobodys right to change or fix us. We should be letting children do anything they desire, regardless of our preconcieved notions and gender ideas. One of our boys has a pair of tap shoes, shiny ones made for girls. They were the pair that fit him. There isn't anything gender binding about those shoes except that we, in our minds know they are marketed for girls. Why tap dance for a boy? Well he loves stompin' around making noise! Traditionally, American tap dance was a male performed entertainment. It has no hold on our childs sexuality or the ones of men in early American show business. Furthermore, he won't know that he has girls' shoes unless someone tells him that there are gender specific tap shoes. Even then, he won't care unless he is guilted or shamed for this. We believe colors are for everyone. Not too long ago pink used to be for baby boys, and blue for girls! The associations only ring true in our own perceptions. Some of our kids favorite things are pink: A fuzzy heart pillow, a baby doll. He also loves flowers! Why shouldn't he? Should we gear him to like a more manly crop?! Lol. 

 We allow our children to be children and try to help them explore their intrests, free of inhibitions, and our own condentations of gender and sexuality, which they know nothing of. Part of the wonderment of childhood is not concerning yourself with society's expectations, sexuality, abortion or politics. I can assure you I won't be making my children cry over intactivism and will teach them to be proud of their bodies and who they are. The parade teaches them acceptance of themselves and others, and isn't about teaching them to conform to social standards or be unaccepted, revoked of love and condemned to hell fire. The implications of Fischers work are worrisome. Already, homosexual youth is five times more likley to commit suicide. This number is increased by a hostel environment. You can't change your sexuality. Remember electro-shock therapy? Gay isn't a disease, its not contageous or cureable. It's not perventable or changeable. It's neither wrong nor right, black nor white. Yes, there are instances like violations or molestations that can steer or shape our sexual behaviors, but that isn't a factor for the majority of cases. And you cant hetero-molest a child into the sexuality you perfer, sexuality isn't simple. I don't know why I'm straight or why one person has more libido than the next. The real problem is that we are forgetting our oath to love and protect our children. Fisher isn't teaching love but hate and alienation over protection.

"We have the idea that indoctrination is like the Chinese shoving bamboo up your fingernails or dropping a drop of water on your head until you say "Okay, Buddha is God" Indoctrination is nothing more than teaching someone else a set of ideas" Becky Fischer 

“Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.” Buddha 

This quote from Becky Fischer reveals her extreme ignorance; religiously and politically. We all know the Chinese aren't torturing people in the name of Buddha(Uhh, Tibet anyone??). Buddha is not a deity, and is not "God" He was a person who reached enlightenment and taught that path to those who listened. Our family practices Buddhism and if you were to learn anything from, it would go as follows:


(1) to lead a moral life,
(2) to be mindful and aware of thoughts and actions, and
(3) to develop wisdom and understanding.

If your religious beliefs lead you to hate and anger, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG. 


11 things bible bans, yet Becky Fischer chooses to ignore <<<<<

Go tell her how you feel! https://www.facebook.com/pages/School-of-Supernatural-Childrens-Ministry/152102601534685


(If you want more information on Intactivism and why we oppose Routine Infant Circumcision, I would suggest reading through drmommas website: 
http://www.drmomma.org/2010/01/cut-vs-intact-outcome-statistics.html and 
Saving our Sons facebook page:https://www.facebook.com/SavingOurSons
Bay Area Intactivists facebook :page:https://www.facebook.com/BayAreaIntactivists
 facebook.com/discerningmommas

Cosmetics, Circumcision and Oprah: A disgusting display of cruelty and indifference

 We know that circumcision is a barbaric practice. It is medically unnecessary and for aesthetic purposes only.No child should ever have to endure genital cutting. We intactivists do everything we can do save ever baby boy that we can, or so we thought. Are your dollars supporting the circumcision industry? The skin care industry has a dirty secret. And it's not that wrinkle creams  don't work. They are using human foreskins to test their skincare products on. 

"Organogenesis Inc. of Cambridge, Mass., uses a variation on the foreskin
theme for its Testskin by seeding human foreskin tissue into a bovine
collagen gel. Nutrients are added, the cells secrete collagen and growth
factors, and an epidermal layer is placed on top. Manufacturers now using
Testskin include Est'e Lauder Inc., Mary Kay Cosmetics Inc., Avon Products
Inc., and Amway Corp. Next from Organogenesis will be a skin model
containing pigment-producing melanocytes useful for testing sunscreens and
makeup for dark-complexioned people, says John Burger, director of investor
relations for the company.

  "On the advisory board of the John Hopkins Center for Alternatives to Animal Testing-Y.H.    Laurie Pan, PhD, DABT (Mary Kay, Inc.) and here is quote about their research: 

"In order to characterize a fibroblast cell line representing normal human skin fibroblasts in three-dimensional cultures, we compared the fibroblast line MSU-1.1, derived from human foreskin....."

They also supply foreskins to transnational corporations such as Advanced Tissue Sciences of San Diego, California, [1] Organogenesis, [2] and BioSurface Technology, [3] who have recently emerged to reap new corporate profits from the sale of marketable products made from harvested human foreskins. In 1996 alone, Advanced Tissue Sciences could boast of a healthy $663.9 million market capitalization performance.[4]

This is immoral. Aesthetic genital cutting for mommys wrinkle creme.Foreskin fibroblasts are used to grow and cultivate new cells that are then used for testing of products and for skin cremes.One foreskin can be used for decades to grow $100,000 worth of fibroblasts. In order for the foreskin to be able to be tested on they cannot use anesthetic during the circumcision. This is a huge business, as is the circumcision procedure for doctors. The scary thing is, this appears to be an industry wide practice.  Since the 1980s, private hospitals have been involved in the business of supplying discarded foreskins to private bio-research laboratories and pharmaceutical companies who require human flesh as raw research material.


Even worse, Oprah openly endorses a SkinMedica, a product that openly uses fibroblasts in its products. Great! Cosmetic genital surgery on children for cosmetics for adults. And there is supposedly no monetary gain in circumcision? Corporations have taken over every industry possible, including the cutting of babies genitals. We need to rethink where we spend our dollars. Big companies never have your best interest at heart, and this is just another example. Your dollars spent are each votes for where you want humanity to go.We think of circumcision as the money maker in this dirty scheme, but the money in testing and using foreskins is a multimillion dollar a year industry. I believe Mary Kay's involvement in this is very revealing, I have read some speculation of many other large companies, and I will say I won't use any of them. Toxic ingredients in them that are bad for our planet and bodies anyways. Buying natural, small family based cosmetics are your best bet to not support such cruelty to children. 

 "Parents should be wary of anyone who tries to retract their child's foreskin, and especially wary of anyone who wants to cut it off. Human foreskins are in great demand for any number of commercial enterprises, and the marketing of purloined baby foreskins is a multimillion-dollar-a-year industry."

--Where Is My Foreskin? The Case Against Circumcision- Paul M. Fleiss, MD:Mothering (The Magazine Of Natural Family Living) Winter 1997, page 39

http://voices.yahoo.com/human-foreskins-big-business-cosmetics-201840.html?cat=69

http://www.foreskin.org/f4sale.htm


http://crunchydomesticgoddess.com/2009/05/28/babies-foreskins-used-to-make-cosmetics-is-this-ethical/

The politics of parenting: Time to wake up

First, I understand if upon reading this you get defensive if this is a new idea, or contradicts what you have believed most of your life. As mothers we never want to feel like we have done something to harm our children. Our job is to protect them and to teach them what we know and it is difficult when our actions an ideas are challenged.




Our country is not okay. We are sick, getting sicker and cannot ignore the elephant in the room any longer. Our children are plagued with ADHD, Autism, Asthma, allergies, early onset diabetes, obesity, cancer; the list goes on. Pediatrics just reported that from 2002-2005, there was a 103% increase in diabetes medication for children, a 47% increase in asthma medication, a 41% increase in ADHD medication and a 15% increase in high cholesterol medicine. In the next 20 years the cancer rate is going to go up to 75%. We live under the illusion that we have the best health care system in the world.Then why do we rank #37 in healthcare in the world? U.S. has second worst newborn death rate in modern world.

We have fallen victim to mass media and corporations selling us convenience. Corporations aren't people who care about our families. We are just consumers to them. These corporations are blatantly disregarding the public and planets health. We are ruining the planet, we are stripping it of its resources, while polluting it, and filling the land and oceans with toxic trash. They mass produce animals and their products for consumption with no regard or respect to life. They mass produce toxic oil and spew benzene gas out of refineries and the exhaust from our cars, into the atmosphere and our babies lungs. Benzine is known to cause cancer among other various ailments. We genetically modify crops, and chop down forests. 700 new chemicals a year are being introduced into our products and not being tested by the TSCA whatsoever. There are  no credible product safety measures in place that have not money but the publics and earths best interest at heart. The current state of the world is not healthy and we need to take the power back into the hands of the people.



"A corporation has been endowed with personhood by the Supreme Court. It is not a person but it is run by persons. If the ethical standards of those at the top fail to maintain a certain level of social responsibility, the result is the insidious onset of corporate psychopathic behavior"



I feel like corporations have dehumanized the population of the planet. We as a whole don't treat ourselves or the planet with any regard to anything but comfort and instant gratification. This behavior appears to spill over into our parenting.The medical- birth industry is the start. Practices such as circumcision, crying it out, and spanking are other obvious examples. Then we disregarded what we put into the child's body with sub par nutritionally deficient food. We have a government that allows corporations such as Monsanto to continue to exist. They subsidize crops like corn, wheat and soy and then the meat/dairy industry to keep it cheap, and us unhealthy. Continue with the shooting live viruses grown on aborted fetal cells into our children in hopes they gain immunity and don't gain a mental disorder.Then we put them in little boxes of what boy and girl humans have to be: Pink and Blue, Pink and Blue. We are living in such an unnatural environmental for humans to thrive. We have suffered from extreme value inversions and forgotten what life is about. We have let corporations and the federal reserve system steal from us humanity and force us into a system of slavery called the dollar.




The state of the world doesn't depress me or intimidate me.There is so much beauty and goodness in the world to marvel at. I know humanity and families can wake up and change everything. I believe mothers love their children so much that when they realize the faults of what we are taught conventionally, that they will do better. I fed my son Soy GMO formula from the day he was born, I didn't know anything wrong with it. When I found out, I cried and cried, but then I learned from it. Now with my daughter, I have been breastfeeding for 6 months. You learn better, you do better. We as mothers cannot ignore the facts. The way we have been doing things for the last 100 years is not working. We have to look at the implications for humanity if we do not take action through our parenting choices. My top eight things to educate yourself on is something I believe if everyone practiced, we would see such an amazing impact in our childrens lives.




I suggest watching a documentary called "Ethos" it's award winning and very revealing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGlu4Xlrkvc

It is on netflix also.

Food Inc. really opened my eyes about the state of our food system.

http://vimeo.com/35413948







http://articles.cnn.com/2006-05-08/health/mothers.index_1_mortality-rate-death-rate-world-s-mothers?_s=PM:HEALTH






http://ecochildsplay.com/2009/02/27/700-new-chemicals-introduced-each-year-not-tested-for-toxicity/

The former Judgey Moms are evolving into Discerning Mommas

dis·cern·ing  (d-sûrnng, -zûr-)

adj.

Exhibiting keen insight and good judgment; perceptive.

---

dis·cerning·ly adv.

When we were thinking about starting our blog, we would regularly visit Baby centers facebook page and give advice to mothers with questions that  are relevant to our experiences and base of knowledge. These women seemed not to like getting advice that was different then they were doing, and like people do, they got defensive. They called us names, such as judgey moms. We thought, if being judgmental means then trying to advocate natural,peaceful parenting, then SIGN US UP! We decided to embrace that and thought other parents might understand where we are coming from, a place of people getting defensive and thinking your're judgmental, when in actuality you have everyone's best interest at heart.


 We are Buddhists and Buddhism really speaks out against, hate, anger, and judgment. What I've realized is that we aren't trying to be "judgey", we are trying to be discerning as possible. There is a distinct difference between judgment and discernment. Discernment means perceiving the way things are, period. Judgment is what we add to discernment when we make a correlation  between how things and people in the world are. It is  hard as we all know to keep negative judgment at bay, especially when childrens' well being is at stake.Start with a persons dissatisfaction over another persons decisions and mix in our desire for them to be otherwise and then you will surely feel a slew of negative emotions. I need to clear my mind of all preconceived thoughts and notions and start advocating with a blank mind, a discerning one. 


A 'discerning mind' comes from a peaceful place, from a nonreactive place, and ‘judging mind’ comes from a reactive place. But there has to be a middle ground, I mean even Buddha himself sometimes criticized the teachings of the Brahmins of his day, which means he judged they were wrong. There has to be a middle way, in every situation. For example, you see a child being abused and you judge that this is wrong, and you are able to stop it, then you probably will. I think for the state of my spiritual and physical progress I need to find that middle ground in my promotion of informed parenting. I feel like I have to judge corporations and money(not people and their actions) through my advocation,hopefully that is a good middle ground?


This brings me to  our news.We are not 'Judgey' but are promoting good judgment. We want more moms to feel welcome,and not put off by our name. We understand why we used the name "The Judgey Moms" but does everyone else? I  am passionate about families living beautiful,healthy, happy lives and I don't know if anyone can receive that energy with our current name. It has served its purpose in our lives, we feel our blog needs to follow our intentions and life experiences. We feel as if we parent 'with good judgment' and want to encourage others to open up to the wealth of knowledge mothers inherently own. We want you to realize you have your childs best interest at heart, no pharmaceutical corporation or  government organization can match a mothers instinct and capacity of love. 


We will be changing our blog name to Discerning Mommas and hope you understand and will join us! 


p.s-the new blog will be up in the next week and we PROMISE this is the only time we will be doing this :)

Mommy needs a Xanax: My ongoing journey to inner peace --By the former The Judgey Moms

Since my husband has been gone, I have been so ‘busy’ with my pregnancy and a toddler and life in general that I forgot about me.In turn I have neglected my emotional and mental well being.I have anxiety. I have anxiety about my anxiety. I have anxiety about trying to fix my anxiety. It has been a struggle, and I was becoming increasingly disconnected from my emotions about well, everything.  I feel as if I have legitimate reasons for my anxiety, but I still feel guilty that I get stressed and depressed sometimes. My husband hasn't gotten to experience all the joys of parenting (he was here for the first year of Maddox’s life) including, lack of sleep and ANXIETY. I sit here and feel like shit, why can’t I just DEAL WITH IT? Here I am, with our two beautiful babies, smiling or crying who cares, right? I don’t know anyone in the Bay area here, and I literally don’t get any me time ( we are working on that a.s.a.p. by the way) In my head I feel as if all of these factors are just plain bullshit. JUST DEAL WITH IT, HALEY.


Wrong.

So as you know, I hate the medical industry. Yeah yeah, there is a place for them in the world, and it should have to do mostly with car accidents and broken legs not maintaining mental and physical health. I have been having this dialogue in my head about my stressed out past weeks, and how I felt helpless to cope with it on my own. I felt as if I got to a point in my head where I just needed immediate relief to be able to come back down and deal with life with a clear head. I talked to a good friend, who told me how strong I was and how she thinks I was right and might need a little extra help and validated all of my feelings.

So, I went to a doctor. She was an hour late. She looked at me and said “So what is it you want” I said “uhh, relief” She was rude and didn’t believe me. Here I was with two babies, who wanted a damn nap, and I was pretty stressed out after being there so long. And of course because of my Fibromyalgia diagnosis I was treated like a liar. She told me that all she would prescribe was an SSRI. SSRI’s make me suicidal. I went through the ringer a few years back in the medical system when I trusted them and was happily ignorant of the truth, and in this time found that EVERY anti-depressant makes my life come to a screeching halt with sadness and pain. I don’t think they are safe, and I think there are better alternatives for myself. Long story short, I left 60 dollars lighter, and with a panic attack. It really solidified my disbelief in the medical industries ability to care or heal.

Today I woke up and I just wanted to feel better. We went to the library and got a book on the art of intention. *I intend to feel better, damnit*. We listened to the book on the way to the park, and I did deep breathing all the way there. I watched my son play with children and smile with all the light of the universe in his eyes. ( I might of asked some kids what they were looking at while nursing my daughter and they were squealing with laughter at how disgusting it was,  but hey, I’m freaking working on it here.) We got home and the kids took a nap, so I meditated for the first time in, well, way too long. As I opened my eyes, I remembered that this is what peace feels like, not a Xanax. I took deep breaths and let out my emotions the healthy way, the way that brings you closer to your real self. I let the tension out of my eye brows.  I let anger out of my heart and mind. I opened my heart to the universe and let the light in. Ahhhh. I will not give into big Pharma, I will not give into my anxiety. I will give into love, though. Healing and Happiness are already there, you just have to open up and let them in.

http://alexgrey.net/a-gallery/theolg.html

While I feel like I’m well equipped to advocate informed parenting because to me, it is visible and simple and easy to understand. But meditation, your physical and spirit body, and Buddhism are harder for me to convey to everyone.  I feel as if there are so many better examples and teachers of this eternal knowledge and I urge you to look into this yourself. I wouldn’t be the person I am today if it wasn’t for Buddhism and meditation. Neither are religions. Science backs both of them up.  Happiness and relief await, deep in your mind. Join the collective consciousness and spread the love!

*Buddhism and meditation ARE NOT religions—they are compatible with every person and religion*

( I would also like to say, I am not trying to make anyone feel bad about their choices to deal with anxiety or depression, and hope you find peace and comfort. :) )

A good place to start would be to watch a few documentaries—

What the bleep do we know( This is very enlightening on the science of your emotions and the reality of the universe)(FULL DOCUMENTARY) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkR85DzY24c

Alex Grey’s COSM— http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Um_B_4uWGqk

(They changed my life, I named my son Maddox Grey after him. I met him in San Fransisco and It was amazing. He is my favorite artist and a great influence for the world) http://www.alexgrey.com/ Look at his beautiful art

The Science of Buddhism-- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qj_i7YqDwJA

The book The Celestine Prophecy is very relevant; although it is ‘Fiction’ It was very profound to me on my journey to discover the reality of myself.

Here are a few more relevant links

http://www.knowledgeoftoday.org/2012/03/thought-definition-life-energy-power.html

About Buddhist Meditation-- http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/story/bl015.html

Quantum Physics and your emotions-- http://www.abundance-and-happiness.com/quantum-physics.html

Written by Haley

Top eight things parents need to educate themselves about(in no particular order) --By the former The Judgey Moms

I hope if you can get anything out of this article it is to question the parenting options and be informed of your choices. Your child relys on you to make educated, mature decisons about their upbringing and health.

1. Childbirth

I am a HUGE natural birth advocate. While I understand some women just want pain relief, or the comfort of the hospital. I urge every woman to at least research and understand the pros and cons of such medical aid. We will post our birth stories soon, but for now I had two beautiful natural out of hopsital births and my sister had a traumatic midwife hospital experience. I recommend watching the Business of Being Born (its on netflix and easy to find online) I had a doctor before and after watching this twice and crying the whole thing, I prayed for a homebirth. I was angry, I felt betrayed by the medical system and its horrible treatment of the birthing process.

Birth without fear is the BEST resource to educate yourself on empowering your own birth, no matter what route you choose. It is an amazing community of mothers, I urge you to read some birth stories to figure out what is best for you. My second birth went SO much easier because I wasn't in fear, and I was in control of myself and it made labor progress QUICK. I was informed and empowered. It was spiritual and beautiful. Everything a birth should be.
https://www.facebook.com/birthwithoutfear?ref=ts

Here is the whole business of being born documentary
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMX3ahiOT3o

2.Breastfeeding
My first child I was ignorant of the importance, and how to breast feed. My Doula the second time around was a godsend as she taught me what I didn't know. As a mother who formula fed one and breast fed the other, I strongly urge everyone to at least try. I get SO much more sleep because we co sleep and breast feed. No bottles to scrub, no formula to mix up in the midst of a crying baby. Not to mention the bond and nutritional/medicinal value of breastfeeding. It is a beautiful thing nursing your child and watching them grow.It is a-freaking-mazing. There are amazing resources online for all the information you need to make educated decisions about what to feed your child. My big problem with formula is that it is powdered cows milk with synthetic vitamins, and hexane gas(a known narcotic gas) with other questionable ingredients.(Corn syrups, MSG) Breast milk is more than just a dead powdered food product, it is medicinal, nutritional and your baby needs it. Formula is a last resort.I urge mothers to look into breastfeeding, then donation breast milk, then homemade formulas, THEN commercial formulas. I used Natures one organic formula, and it has been brought to my attention that it contains high levels of naturally occurring arsenic. This was the only formula I felt comfortable with, though I wouldn't feed my child dairy or soy now.Not judging mothers who cannot breastfeed, but I am judging the corporations who don't have our children health in their best interests.
Here is a page about the marketing of formula
www.facebook.com/callingfortransparency

Educate yourself about formula, and its effect on a babys health
http://www.vaccineriskawareness.com/Dangers-Of-Formula-Milk

Places to find donation milk (WHICH IS EASY and there are plenty of generous mommas that want to help)

http://www.eatsonfeets.org/
http://www.hm4hb.net/

There are so many online communites that will come together to feed your baby what it was meant to be fed.

Respect the breast is my favorite go to advice forum on breastfeeding questions
https://www.facebook.com/RespectTheBreast?ref=ts

Kelly mom is essential--http://kellymom.com/


3.Vaccines/ Natural Immunity/ Delayed Vaccination
Vaccines are a very touchy debate with many. I am not anti vaccination, I am PRO SAFE vaccination. Which in my research and understanding-- ARE NOT.  They have tons of questionable ingredients that I would never inject my precious baby with. But I do understand people want to protect their babies from disease, which I urge you to research vaccine effectiveness, which they are not. The huge thing with vaccines for me is that they use aborted human fetal cells to GROW DISEASES/VIRUSES on. They also use a plethora of other animal tissues in the vaccines.(MONKEY DNA) I freaking object. If you do the research and still want to vaccinate, you should at least consider delayed vaccines or alternative scheduling. There ARE doctors to fit your needs no matter what.Vaccine detox is a great idea if your dead set on vaccinating too. Too many perfect babies are vaccine injured and the parents don't even KNOW.Then far too many babies are injured and die, or have brain damage, or seizures, or autism(yes there is a connection)

Dr. Mercola is such a good resource for health related issues--(the documentary is worth your time)http://www.mercola.com/2007/feb/15/shocking-documentary-will-convince-you-to-stay-away-from-vaccines-for-good.htm

Information on animal tissues in vaccines--http://www.nccn.net/~wwithin/abortedtissue.htm

Information on vaccine ingredients--http://novaccine.com/vaccine-ingredients/

Vaccine injured database- http://www.healing-arts.org/children/vaccines/vaccines-database.htm


4.Circumcision
We have a blog on this and I urge you to read it, read more, and DON'T DO IT. Watch  a video and tell me you think that isn't genital mutilation. It changes their brain chemistry for life. The foreskin is a functional part of the penis. It contains 70% of nerve endings in the penis. The procedure is cruel and traumatic for the baby, and can cause hemorrhaging,heart attacks,seizures, and death. The claim that 'they just slept right through it' is bogus and is actually just the baby in shock. The information is right there all you have to do is want it, and be accepting that the generations before us messed up. Plain and simple it is not your choice to make aesthetic changes to your baby's penis. It has no medical validity, and is purely for profit of the medical industry. It is genital mutilation, plain and simple.
Dr Momma is my favorite site for information on circumcision--
http://www.drmomma.org/

Circumcison causes life long harm
http://www.prweb.com/releases/2002/06/prweb41148.htm

This is a wonderful community and will answer any questions you have

https://www.facebook.com/SavingOurSons?ref=ts

Again there is SO much research as to why you shouldn't do this and it is right at your fingertips. Seek the truth.

5. Food additives/Diet
 Although my outlook on food veers very psuedo-vegan-esque-ish (lol) I understand that not everyone wants to or will quit meat and dairy. I urge you to consider researching a little more, and limiting your intake. As heart disease cancer and diabetes are the three biggest killers, I suggest you maybe consider that it is unhealthy and causing diseases in most of the modern world. Either way you pick, 100% of everyone should feed their children as many organic fresh foods as possible. A whole food diet is the key to health. Please reconsider the cheerios chicken fingers childhood, it is frankly out of hand. I grew up on a SAD diet (Standard American Diet) of overly processed meats, cheeses, and sweets(fast food a  plenty) I have fibromyalgia which I think between vaccines, abuse, and a bad diet could have been prevented. Most Americans have candida overgrowth/infections. We are not a healthy country and need to stop ignoring the elephant in the room. It is possible, my son eats a organic whole food diet vegan except honey. He isn't big on berries, but loves sauteed spinach and asparagus.  Whole foods means no preservatives, or artificial flavorings. Vegetables, beans, quinoa, fruits, nuts, you get the idea. All of these food additives need to be removed from children's diets, it is causing harm.
Our blog on food-
http://thejudgeymoms.blogspot.com/2012/02/top-ten-best-and-worst-foods-for-your.html
Food additives linked to behavior problems in children
http://www.rense.com/general76/chchem.htm

Why choose whole foods diet?
http://www.the-natural-path.com/natural-and-organic-food.html

Great info
http://www.besthealthfoodstore.net/natural_foods_balanced_diet.html

6. Household products/Personal Products

Most people nowadays seem obsessed with sanitizing everything, with harsh unnecessary chemicals. With the health epidemics in this country, it cannot be ignored. We are filling our homes with toxic chemicals that our children breath in and touch regularly. This is such a simple solution. BUY VINEGAR, BAKING SODA, AND A STEAM MOP. Seriously. This includes regular dish soap, I would invest in a natural/organic brand that doesn't have synthetic fragrances(we will talk later about those) Laundry detergent, including baby brands like Dreft, are filled with dioxins,fragrances among other toxic chemicals that irritate baby's skin. All the mainstream baby soaps are toxic crap. I used to use J&J until I found out because of my sons eczema and I was PISSED when I started researching ingredients and reading labels, get that shit away from me. Both of our kids breaks out from regular soaps and detergents. Our bodies are already being bombarded with enormous amounts of toxins,more than any generation before us. These are simple changes in the products you buy that will eliminate unnecessary strain on your little ones body

Rocking Green is my favorite I have used it for 2 years.It lasts me about 4 months between cloth diapers and a family of 5 for 16$ Beat that, Gain.

http://rockingreensoap.com/?page_id=944

Dr bronners is great soap for everyone-- Great information on this FAQ
http://www.drbronner.com/faqs_main.html

Toxic ingredients in J&J-
http://www.imperfectparent.com/topics/2011/11/02/harmful-chemicals-in-johnsons-baby-shampoos/

Fluoride is toxic and actually hardens teeth so much they become brittle. It is a neurotoxin and should be avoided. I write my mayor regularly about removing it from the water supply. Hitler was the first one to use it to make the people docile, stupid. I recommend finding a better toothpaste. Its not hard to find at most grocery stores now a days.
http://www.fluoridealert.org/50-reasons.htm

8.Attachment Parenting and its benefits
I think all the controversy with the TIME magazine article has really just swayed everyone from the truth. Turned it into a sideshow. AP isn't just about breastfeeding, you can be a formula feeding attachment parent.It is about tuning into the needs of your child, and using instincts to form that child's emotions into a health happy balanced person. Ignoring your child's emotional needs, starting with crying it out to sleep, is never healthy for anyone involved. It isn't spoiling, its human nature between mother and child. There are benefits, and I think its the easier way to parent anyways. It forms children that are emotionally healthy without attachment problems.

Obviously Im going to link Dr. Sears
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/attachment-parenting/7-benefits-ap
Are you a problem parent- a must read--
http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=1408
7. Baby wearing

My nephews first time piggy backin'

Plain and simple. ITS FUCKING AWESOME! Dear lord, I love my Ergo. I hate strollers,I actually use a wagon instead. I wore my son until i was 41 weeks pregnant,on my back in my Ergo. Its healthy, its natural. Get a good one that isn't a crotch dangler they cause hip displaysia, baby carriers are totally worth the money. I have a mesh ring sling for the water and its super cute. Seriously, how long have women been carrying their babies? Remember Africa?! The health benefits are there and it is great to be able to do, well, ANYTHING (remember eating?)
Dr. Sears is down http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/fussy-baby/baby-wearing/benefits-babywearing

Seriously consider an Ergo( go on craigslist if it is out of your price range)  Best buy Ever
http://www.myfavoritebabycarrier.com/ergo.html


8.Sexualization of our youth and gender stereotypes

Sexualization happens FAST. All the sudden the baby is born wearing a mini skirt and a cheeta tank top. It limits girls to the confines of princess and pink, and that in turn forms insecure and superficial unhealthy feelings because of the oversexualized of women. We then put boys into a world of violence, skulls and gender stereo types and wonder what is going on with them. It is limiting to everyone and so unhealthy. The 'pink washing' of girls merchandise is so out of hand.Colors have no gender! I want my little girl to be able to be a child, not a princess. Princess is for fun, not a lifestyle. My son likes fuzzy things and flowers and tap dancing, and climbing on everything. A family once while I was buying a wooden kitchen for my son said that their son wanted one and wanted to be a chef, but he was a boy so they wouldnt think about buying it. Their are so many examples of gender stereotypes that need to be addressed. We are limiting our children and they are the ones who suffer from it. Pigtail Pals Ball Cap Buddies is my favorite website ever. Her blog is amazing and she is doing the best service for the youth. Her children are witty and full of life, and everything children should be. Check it out!

https://www.facebook.com/PigtailPals?ref=ts

http://pigtailpals.com/

Peggy o'renstein-- Author of Cinderella ate my daughter

http://peggyorenstein.com/blog.html
http://peggyorenstein.com/books/cinderella.html

Written by Haley--I used the word urge a lot in this article.I should count.

Poop like an African --By the former The Judgey Moms

Being enlightened on such topics as the medical industry, real health care, and the state of the human race and it's health is so burdening. Going through the grocery store I literally WONT eat 99.5% of the food there. It makes me sick, everyone and their diet coke and meat.  Ignorant as they may be, most people I try to tell shrug these things off. I knew a mother whose child had ADHD and was hallucinating off his numerous meds, saying " He wanted to go to heaven to be with his Grandpa" This child would drink soda all day long, candy, gum, had a whole goody cart they could eat anything off of. I told her about sodium benzoate and high fructose corn syrup and also organics. The mother was stubborn like most people I try  to tell, because no one wants to feel like they are doing the wrong thing for their kids. This it's "just soda" attitude is making our children an obese and sick generation.

We cannot ignore the rampant disease spreading through the modern civilized world. Heart disease, Diabetes, Cancer, Asthma, Fibromyalgia, MS, the list goes on. These are all diseases the medical world is just acting like they are "working on". Um, somethings not fucking working here, because we're all sick fat and tired. We live in a country where some red headed clown brainwashes our children on tv with cheeseburgers, and then ignores the massive amount of unhealthy children. And then what do we do, we defend it with our lives. I guess some people don't like me robbing my children of American toddler right of passage crappy "birthday party" diet. People think the children are deprived of some sort of dietary dreamland or something. My children have so much more to do and become than sick and fat.  I refuse to for the sake of a standard American childhood buy my children a crappy "treat" at the store. (Or conform to any tradition I see unhealthy or not in my morals.) A treat doesn't have to be toxic and have a negative impact on your child's health. I can make it myself healthier and as tasty and the children will have fun making everything together as a family from scratch and enjoying their labors. Family makes a beautiful childhood not junk food.

I am not saying "HEY YOU GO VEGAN OR DIE" I am a fake ass vegan anyways, we eat honey (gasp!)But I am saying, get off your behind and look into some real food for those growing children who need it. Look into how cancer has been cured so many times over, every time I see a new cancer cure, I go "Another?" THERE ARE SO MANY. Heart disease is a DIET RELATED DISEASE, and can be reversed even at late stages through diet alone. I watch so many people I know and their families are sick, and they think its normal stages of life. My dad and grandma just got their gallbladders removed, and so many people I found out that I know have gotten it removed. All it took was five minutes of research to find that this is from eating a meat and dairy based fatty STANDARD AMERICAN DIET.  We are just taking out organs that we need, and acting like that's fine. That isn't okay, your organs are there for a reason, removing an organ will never fix the problem it just fixes symptoms.

And then there is the Western Medical Doctor. Ugh. I am sorry but what a load of shit. We all follow these doctors blindly as they prescribe us toxic drugs to "fix" problems.Were treating symptoms here not the root cause. I am sorry but this is IRRESPONSIBLE MEDICINE. They gave my sister 16 doses of penicillin when she was in labor, as a preventative measure. When her son had a fungal rash they tried to prescribed more antibiotics, then wouldn't touch the subject of probiotics with a ten foot pole. Not even a pharmacist would. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia when I was 17 and I believed these doctors were doing what was best for me.  Antidepressants, muscle relaxers, sleeping pills, anti-seizure meds, you fucking name it they prescribed it. Turns out my nephew and I both needed probiotcs to cure us of a fungal problem that 90% of Americans have without knowing.

I cured my fibromyalgia after I found out about yeast (candida) overgrowth. This was due to the use of antibiotics causing yeast overgrowth that feeds on the Standard American Diet (Sugar and Carbs) until it is systemic. Jenny Mcarthy says she cured her sons Autism with probiotics and a candida regimen. Cancer and candida is another corrolation to seriously look into. Doctors wont even talk about nutrition and have no idea the implications of ignoring diet because they just aren't trained in nutrition (around 4% are trained in nutrition). They are MEDICAL doctors, the prescribe MEDICINE, and go to MEDICAL schools in which just teach what "big pharma" sells to them) It is criminal if you ask me.

So where do you start? Your body tells you so much about what is going on. Your poop, skin and teeth  weight and energy levels reveal your health. I once read about this African tribe who pooped 4 times a day and had like no cancer.(big long healthy poops too) The whole American sitting on the toilet reading really working hard to poop is just gross. If your not pooping at least once a day or your straining while pooping, your eating wrong. Pay attention to the state of your health. Just because everyone else is getting the same problems doesnt mean its normal.

The everyday products you use in the house also matter

Number one thing to do for your family to get on track with your health is switch to an organic, whole food diet. Look up super foods. Eat more fresh fruit and vegetables, seeds and nuts. Preservatives and artificial colorings and flavorings are widely overused and shouldn't be ANYWHERE in your families diets. I can only think of one processed food we eat which is a rice noodle and the ingredients are "RICE, WATER". Find the diet that feels right for you, don't go against your instincts. Hopefully your instincts aren't telling you to get a value meal though.

Written by Haley


*THESE ARE MY PERSONAL OPINIONS AND EXPERIENCE, I AM NOT A MEDICAL DOCTOR I AM NOT GIVING HEALTH OR DIETARY ADVICE. THERE ARE PLENTY OF INFORMED DOCTORS AND INFORMATION ONLINE. SEEK KNOWLEDGE YOURSELF. WHY WOULD YOU LISTEN TO A BLOG WITH 17 FOLLOWERS ABOUT YOUR FAMILIES HEALTH ANYWAYS*(JUST SAYIN')

I will say this is what I have implemented in my families way of thinking and diets to benefit us in life, if you catch my drift.

The Jenny Mcarthy Interview(A MUST READ)-- http://www.pr.com/article/1076

 I dont use ANY product with artificial frangrance- http://www.environmentalhealth.ca/fall97scents.html

Watch food inc. and food matters they changed my perception on food altogether they are on netflix and easy to stream online and also worth buying.

Research for yourself to get a balanced educated knowledge of nutrition and its importance and take charge of your families health.

*Rant Over*

Why my son's 1st birthday party will be his last: Birthday Entitlement and Materialism --By the former The Judgey Moms

I had a nautical themed photo shoot, and found a local retired photographer who actually owned a sailboat. My baby shower, nursery were nautical themed, as was this birthday. We like to say Drakey has a "nautical themed life" . I liked the nautical theme because it is timeless, innocent, and we live in the SF Bay Area, water and sailing are a common sight.

I had an invitation designed, again on Etsy. I didn't send out one invite. I had one printed for my personal satisfaction.

Theodore. Isn't he Theo-dorable?

I only invited my son's other side of the family. His father, grandmother, aunt and her kids and husband. The grandma, aunt and one of the kids attended. I attempted to invite one other person, but it didn't manifest. It was a small, outdoor, gathering that I planned every detail of. Two birthday outfits for Mr One Year, my sisters kids each having an nautical themed outfit. We dressed the part too. He received a puppy because the neighbors had offered and we couldn't resist (turns out the puppy wasn't a great fit for our household because he was playful and nipped the children's toes, interrupted nap time and the last thing we really need is to co-sleep a pup and to clean up more poo. he was shortly placed with another family.) We made our own lemonade, kale chips, hummus, and so on.

It was all wonderful and enjoyable. The whole purpose of the party, was to bring Drake's family together, because there is separation and they  don't see him much .

Then we opened presents.

I asked the family for a nice feeding set, I had my eye on the thinkbaby stainless steel one.
 He received soft soled shoes, three wooden puzzles, a drum that included other instruments like maracas, an organic onesie and pant set, a stuffed lion, a nautical onesie, cardboard block set, bathtub basketball hoop, a wooden shape sorter, a book,  and a bathtub toy net...plus the gifts I got him, teddy bear, handmade taggy blanket with his name embroidered, a mp3 plush turtle, a xylophone push-walker toy, and an over sized tennis ball. These gifts were opened half at the park and half at home.

An unexpected friend showed up bearing two sets of polo style shirts and shorts and a really big cartooned pair of shoes.

Whoa, that's a lot of gifts, overwhelming really.

My concerns mainly stem from the extended family, we just do not have the same values. Although a $30 stuffed animal is nice, its not the best use of the funds and it is just another stuffed animal. I had to talk his father out of buying him a watch. I would be humiliated to have my one year old in public with a fashion acessory like a watch. At least he wouldn't be late for naptime, though! I really have to work on him not mentioning to the children when they are wearing certain brands, not putting importance on how they look and things of that nature.

 Simply, they are materialistic and we just never will be.

Cobbler!

Maddox on his 1st Birthday

My nephew celebrated his first birthday with a balloon, a trip to the park and a homemade blackberry cobbler, his grandma's recipe.

How I envy the simplicity.

It's a great tradition, this year we may include some gifts, a tricycle and an art easel. The activity will vary in the years to come based on interest;  it's really a beautiful thing.

At Drake's birthday I was so busy hosting that I didn't have time to let him enjoy the park. Between the family leaving and unexpected guests showing up, I had to start all over, hosting again! Finally, I had enough. I demanded somebody watch that puppy, grabbed a boy on each hip and marched to the swing set. They had a ball. It was all they wanted to do, and all I wanted to see: smiling, happy kids. Nobody else got to witness the real birthday joy, it was just the three of us.

Its true what they say, the first birthday isn't for the child, it is for the parents. In my case the parents, and extended family, and mutual friends of my ex and I  who I hadn't seen in a while...

Weeks of planning, ordering, and organizing, just to put the kids on the swings and let the wind do the rest...

We learned a lot.

 Now there will be a one gift limit per family member. This will require that the gift be thoughtful, not last minute. (hopefully)

Clothing is not a gift, it's a necessity and we don't gift our children what is inherently their right to be provided. Fancy doesn't make clothing suddenly awe- inspiring. Kids don't care about clothes, and if they do, that's a terrible thing! They can like or pick their clothes, but brand names shouldn't matter to them and they should always prefer an activity or toy!
(For the record, Drake received ONLY clothing for Christmas, which only his dad's side celebrates, and a little piano I requested his father give him. None of it was even his size. Box after box of nothing that interested him except the tags and tissue paper... now that he fits it, its not seasonal and the only person who has enjoyed it was my nephew, for whom it wasn't exactly intended.)

Birthdays aren't a reason to rub elbows with people who aren't otherwise around.

Next year, we might plan an activity and invite the family to meet us, but there will be no party, no invitations, no decor, (well maybe balloons, our kids are big fans!) no appetizers, no waiting around or trying to make everyone happy and the birthday boy won't be subjected to rituals he doesn't care about.

                                                                                    


Today while doing our return... there was a birthday boy at Toys R Us. Cute kid, red headed and age 7.  I talked with his mother who told me it was a hard time because of some things going on with his grandmother. She went on to tell me that she was just trying to make the best of it and " Spend the money."
I told him Happy Birthday, and he showed me his box of Lego's.